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6/2/18

Geneseo, NY.
Our place of origin.

It was the first weekend of June and it was freezing. Unexpectedly so.

Your dad was going to Geneseo for the night, and your sister had never been on campus. Since I wouldn’t be staying overnight, a family day trip was definitely in order. She explored the dorms and was naturally obsessed with the little beds that Uncle Pat and Daddy would be sleeping in. This is when some of our friends started to, unofficially, know about you. If only because my absence from a night in Geneseo was notable.

6/2/19

As I sit here today, I think about the alternative. How could you not have gone? If I had a bucket list of family activities that I wanted to do with my children, going to Geneseo would be near the top of the list. It only seems right that you were there with us. In one of the places that means the most to us. It was your sister’s first trip like that in her 2 and a half years, and you just happened to be there at 2 months along.

My life will always be physically lacking you, my family always incomplete; I’ve accepted this. But one of the places I feel most at home is not without you. I have a memory of being there with you. Our first and only trip as a complete family. I cling to these memories of you, with you.

“Not a night goes by, I don’t dream of wandering
Through the home that might have been.”